too hot to go oustide.
so listening to some classical music and then fugazi.
laying on the sofa reading a book about reincarnation.
damn it's so fucking hot.
the newspapers say my town is the hottest in the whole country.
The upstairs neighbors are arguing about something I really don't know, just hearing the wife screaming loud.
she's so obnoxious.
damn it's too hot to go outside.
start listening to classical music.
why when we grow up and get older do we become more anxious and scared?
what's the point?
we earn in experience and wisdom.
I think there's a truth, an only point of view in all this.
we are afraid because we understand that dying is an experiece we are going to have alone.
what a joke life is, isn't it?
we are born with no understanding of what we are experiencing
but at some point in life we understand what a beautiful and tragic experience life is
So we grasp for encouragement.
we take protection in love.
because being loved is the rewarding victory in all this madness.
''And I will show that nothing can happen more beautiful than death."
the first person I lost was my grandfather.
he took care of me when I was a child.
I was 21 and he got sick.
he had cancer.
I truly believed he would survive.
he lost his speech function.
I used to go to the hospital and shave his face and wash his hair.
he smiled at me because he thought I was a bad barber.
He was a really patient man.
after his death I moved to California for some months.
I still remember the smell of the rooms at the hospital.
i didn't have the love of my parents.
i lost them too soon.
I'm still looking for them
and everynight i pray for their souls.
i dreamt my mom surrounded by angels in a wonderfull light
and my father with an all white tuxedo suit telling me to go because i'm free, and that asshole smiled back at me.
i know they were really in love.
they burned too fast.
i'd really love to have a phone call with them.
and let them know that everything is fine , fucking heavy but fine.
and i find myself, pouring rain on my head at dusk on a hot summer day.it happens once in a lifetime.I'm here.don't forget me. MM
"And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves, And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves."— Matthew 21:12–13